Ahhhh spring… buds sprouting, birds chirping, mosquitos biting… how lovely.
This time of year is marked by the feeling of new beginnings. It is the time of year when change is happening all around us.
But have you ever noticed how we humans tend to remain the same despite all the change of this season? We continue our day to day tasks, phone calls and emails. We continue to go to bed each night scolding ourselves internally for not exercising like we should have. We maintain the habits that keep us dissatisfied with ourselves or our lives. Aside from New Year’s resolutions in January, we usually don’t think about making REAL CHANGES for ourselves.
Let’s talk about why that might be. Bottom line, humans are not wired for spontaneous change. We are designed to seek patterns and routines. This starts from birth, and you can see it in babies who will do actions or make sounds repetitively. Repetition is a huge part of how we learn new things. It’s truly in our biology to develop and follow patterns.
Ever heard of the saying by Donald Hebb, “neurons that fire together, wire together”? The more we repeat something, the stronger that pathway becomes in our brain. The more you reach for a glass of water instead of a Diet Coke, the more likely you are to do it again next time. The pattern formation process is largely subconscious (for example, you probably follow a morning routine without much thought), and it is actually best this way. Can you imagine having to be aware of every single movement, from which leg you put in your pants first, to which teeth you are going to brush next? Ugh. Thankfully, our brains manage hundreds of small patterns for us each day without our even being aware.
Since our brains are wiring themselves over time to repeat, it can really be a challenge to make changes to those routines.
It almost always requires conscious effort to make a change, to alter a routine or pattern in our daily lives. Reaching for a glass of water at lunch instead of our daily Diet Coke does not spontaneously happen. Only by consciously doing something different and continuing that effort repeatedly can we hope to create a new pattern all its own. (On a neuronal level, what you are doing is strengthening a novel pathway while the old pathway weakens due to non-use). In a way, making a lasting change is just us hijacking our own biology for our benefit. Ha ha!
This is where I welcome you to think about making a change for yourself. A real, lasting, helpful change that brings you closer to thriving. Taking a cue from nature’s rebirth and starting anew, there is truly no better time than now to give something new a try. Maybe it is something as small as making sure to floss each night, or maybe it is something bigger like exercising three times a week. Take time to look at your life right now and choose to alter something that isn’t helping you.
Now, I want to make a note here, for self-compassion’s sake, humans are bound to slip back into old patterns.
It’s OK. It’s a concept referred to as “spontaneous recovery” in the behaviorism world. Even for folks who are having huge success with forming a new pattern, they might find that the old subconscious pattern shows up days, weeks, months or even YEARS later. It’s normal, it’s just how our brain flushes through old material. Let me be clear, change is hard work, and we usually fail to make change more than we succeed. Sigh, such is being human.
I just want you to know that I’m here to support you and I’m rooting for you as you step into this unfamiliar territory. While there may be sidesteps, today could be the start of a whole new chapter where you can really be closer to your true self!
Let me know what change you want to make and I’m happy to help create a plan to get you there and offer my support along the way. Let’s find a better path for you!